What does Facebook mean to you? It used to be what happens to students when they fall asleep studying. *rimshot* Now, it’s a global social networking site that even my mom visits. My mom has a Facebook page. MY MOM! A little back story to my mother’s electronic awareness. I got her Taken on Blu Ray for the fancy new Blu Ray player I had just picked out for her. It streams Netflix, You Tube, does the dishes, this thing is the new hotness. So, after setting it up for them and handing over the disc, I figured my work there was done and I could head to wherever I was heading to ( I go lots of places, like a nomad with great hair who bathes regularly). I get down the road a bit and I get a phone call from my mom. She said the DVD player is broken. For 400 bucks it better damn well be able to fix itself. Apparently I got them the directors cut as the movie plays for a bit then suddenly starts over. So I drive back to find they were watching the DVD menu for the movie and didn’t think just to hit play. This same person has a Facebook- with a picture of her and everything- so, that should give you some sort of idea of how Facebook has now become a norm in US society. If a woman who uses her iBook to largely collect what I can only assume is precious dust has a Facebook page, it won’t be long before rocks and trees do to0.
Now, you’re probably asking “So, what? Tons of people are on Facebook, what’s your point?” Well, I’m getting there, jerkass, I had start somewhere. My point is exactly this: Tons of people are on Facebook and it’s actually taking the place of a real social network. Facebook is not a real social network. A real social network is actual flesh and blood friends and family that come over or do stuff with you. Facebook is a virtual social network where you can virtually do anything. Literally anything. Play card games, raise a farm, start a zoo, whatever. How do I know you can do all this? Because the news feed that lets me know every little thing you’re doing on Facebook. It also shows me how much time you are spending doing those things. Now, if you’re at work and need to look at anything besides another TPS report (If you don’t know what I’m talking about you can be legally executed in 6 states) I understand that. However, some people must work all the time cause they are on there all the time!
I’m picking on Facebook because that’s the current big deal. Myspace, Friendster (which surprisingly wasn’t created in the early 90s), the name changes but the game is the same. Don’t get it twisted, they’re great tools. I use Facebook and Myspace (even though it’s become more like the run down mall only the most stubborn shopper won’t leave) to keep in touch with most of my friends back in the Sunshine State. It’s actually how I learned what was going on within my own immediate family a couple times. It’s times like that however, when social networking becomes a crutch. People rely on that newsfeed to find out what their friends are doing instead of just calling up. Also, that newsfeed can bring the worst kind of news too. Such as what a certain someone is doing with a certain someone else. People don’t want to look but, they just have to and drive themselves crazy over that certain whomever. (If you’ve been through this, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t don’t sweat it. Just another point of how deep the immersion goes).
More often than not it brings the most inane news too. I know you can set your particular feed to blot out certain news items, like the aforementioned Farmville cause why do I give a damn you found an imaginary lost brown cow? I don’t care how sad that icon of it is! It seems that no matter how often I block something Facebook releases another annoying app. Yoville? Really? What’s next, Crackertown? Jewsylvania?
Marginally racist app names aside, the most grievous offense of social networking is the death of grammar and actual words. I know that texting and IMs fired the first gunshot into grammar’s chest but social networking has led to entire paragraphs and posts with the most shortened and jumbled nonsense. I have a friend (we’ll call her CR since names are frowned on in the blog world), she has a friend who spells her name Kris10! (That’s not her name, it’s a Myspace handle so, I can use it here. Although I think you can figure out what her name is. Not exactly The Da Vinci Code) This person is the worst offender ever at butchering the language I decided to major in. Text talk is for busy people who are at work or important people on the go. This girl is neither. “Hey grrl, wut r u doin l8r?” She is breaking at least 10 rules there. People who do that regularly should be shot in the genitals with a taser. Stop being so damn lazy and use your words like an adult.
Well, 900 plus. Not bad for the first one. It only took two months. Hopefully the next one, which will be on texting/ims, streaming/downloading music and movies, or a review of Sherlock Holmes (it’s my blog, I’ll do what I want) will be a little more timely.